Want vs. Need

Let’s face it, Mamas. We live in a world driven by technology. And that can be a very good thing. Because it connects, informs, and entertains us. But it can also be a slippery slope with our Babes. Because their mushy little frontal lobes aren’t yet fully formed.

And as their brains are inundated with advertisements and information and imagery. It’s our job. Our noble duty. To make sure we monitor their activity. To be absolutely certain that they are hearing the messaging we want from our homes. And, more importantly, our hearts.

The world will scream at our Babes, “You need more. Bigger. Better. Fancier.” And we need to be standing in the wings. Waiting to remind them. That they have a trusty internal compass. That will always point due north. If they’ll just take a deep breath. And listen to their quiet voice.

So from a very young age, my messaging was crystal clear about “Want vs. Need”. And what do I mean by that? It’s pretty simple. I told my Fab Four that they may actually WANT a lot of things in this world. But what they actually NEED to live. Is a very short list. And most of those things are not possessions.

And that understanding started with a lot of little conversations. Woven throughout our ordinary days spent together. This is not a one and done kind of deal, dear ones. When they were drawn to wanting something at a store. Clear boundaries were drawn. By reminding them that buying things we “want” wasn’t part of this trip. When an ad on television spoke to their sweet curiosity. We imagined about it together and then decided if it was something they’d like to add to a birthday or Christmas list. When they wanted a snack. We talked about if their stomachs needed it. Or if maybe they just wanted it because they were bored.

We talked again and again about the fact that wanting something is a natural feeling. And that it’s perfectly okay to want and dream about things. But we also weighed how important it is to decide how much you actually want something. And then—if you’re willing to work hard for it.

In the same breath we talked about real needs. And what those actually looked like: food, shelter, clothing, love, and security. We discussed those things in our own life and home with true gratitude. And I reminded them that when you have your basic needs met. You start from a place where you can then thrive.

Friends, this rule of want vs. need applies to most anything. Relationships, food, finances, jobs, purchases—the list is endless. And with want vs. need as the jumping off point. Other important discussions can then follow throughout all the ordinary days and years you spend together.

The one thing I love most about an awareness of want vs. need. Is that it grounded our family in a basis of gratitude. I said again and again. That we had everything we needed. And even most of the things we wanted. And that alone gave my Babes an awareness of the gifts in our lives.

Next time I blog, I’m gonna talk about how this basic premise. Was the basis I used. To talk to my Babes about money. It became the foundation for my philosophy of: Give a little. Save a little. Spend a little.

And so far, I’m pleased to say. I have four financially savvy Babes who know (and are thankful for) what they have. Because they’ve already got everything they need. And most of what they want. Believe that.